what's happened since MAY haha..
my mission papers went in
I got the call back
turns out I'm serving in the New Mexico Albuquerque mission to speak Spanish
..
my DREAMMM language to speak
..
hm. that'sss about it!
I knew Satan would be working HARD on me, to try and get me to not go on a mission to try and bring others unto Christ..
but dang.
talk about all the crap hitting the fan.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
the M
Today was incredible.. truly incredible. And it's only 10 a.m. haha
This morning, me and some people from church hiked up to the M. It was one of those times that just effortlessly went SO well. I have been praying and praying for who knows HOW long for some friends, as pathetic as that sounds. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people in my life now. But I realized today exactly how little appearance matters in this world. Everyone I was with this morning just has this love for the gospel that outshines any outward appearance, to the point where I don't even notice what anyone looks like anymore. They are just all so beautiful.
I felt safe, knowing that the Lord has brought these people into my path to lift me through this tough point in my life. To help chip off my rough edges and become better, because I can only see myself becoming better when I'm around other people that want me to do better.
I don't really know how to put all of this into words. But this is just what I needed. Every worry is gone, every weakness seems to be put on hold when there are people around to strengthen you. And that doesn't make you a weak person; it makes you humble.
So this quote, from Boyd K. Packer:
"I went before the Lord and in essence said, I'm not neutral and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I will give it to you-everything, all I own, all I am."
This morning, me and some people from church hiked up to the M. It was one of those times that just effortlessly went SO well. I have been praying and praying for who knows HOW long for some friends, as pathetic as that sounds. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people in my life now. But I realized today exactly how little appearance matters in this world. Everyone I was with this morning just has this love for the gospel that outshines any outward appearance, to the point where I don't even notice what anyone looks like anymore. They are just all so beautiful.
I felt safe, knowing that the Lord has brought these people into my path to lift me through this tough point in my life. To help chip off my rough edges and become better, because I can only see myself becoming better when I'm around other people that want me to do better.
I don't really know how to put all of this into words. But this is just what I needed. Every worry is gone, every weakness seems to be put on hold when there are people around to strengthen you. And that doesn't make you a weak person; it makes you humble.
So this quote, from Boyd K. Packer:
"I went before the Lord and in essence said, I'm not neutral and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I will give it to you-everything, all I own, all I am."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Scattered
I tried to describe earlier exactly how I feel, and that is just it.
Scattered. Not lost, because I know that under the Lord and this church, I am allllways found.
It's just a weird feeling, that I haven't really felt before. Not that I've ever been the best to be able to put my thoughts into words.
I miss Ryan.
Scattered. Not lost, because I know that under the Lord and this church, I am allllways found.
It's just a weird feeling, that I haven't really felt before. Not that I've ever been the best to be able to put my thoughts into words.
I miss Ryan.
Monday, May 10, 2010
perfect
would be the Special Ed. kids that crossed the crosswalk together while I was driving this morning
that kept looking back and waving, and smiling at me.
But not only smiling, it was more that they were overjoyed to see me, when they didn't even know me! Like they were overjoyed to see another one of their sisters, ....
Perfect is the fact that this world is horrible, yet they see so much hope in it. They only purely see the beauty, and they only see everyone as they are and can be.
Everybody softens their hearts toward these people. They're innocent, and flawless. How could one not ?
Anyway. I haven't really known what to put in this for awhile. Where to gather my thoughts to even start.
I feel like a completely different person from who I was abouttt. 2 weeks ago ahaha. Doesn't that sound lame ??!
But I've been given so much strength, that has helped me to solely rely on the Lord, and prayer. Not only my own prayers, but the prayers of others. I should be praying like I have been every single time I pray. It's too important not to!
Ryan's doing so well up at the MTC. I'm so proud of him! Every day he is gone I become a little bit stronger. I've learned how to not rely on anything on this earth, as any of it can be gone in a heartbeat. Ryan pushing himself is pushing me. Not only have I realized I can become sooo much more than I am right now, or was even aiming to be before, but I've noticed that as people, we seem to settle a LOT ! When the things that we have to work for become SO MUCH more worthwhile in the end. It's crazy really.
I'm logging off. I thank anyone who has thought to read this, and even put so much of a care into what is going on in my life. :p
that kept looking back and waving, and smiling at me.
But not only smiling, it was more that they were overjoyed to see me, when they didn't even know me! Like they were overjoyed to see another one of their sisters, ....
Perfect is the fact that this world is horrible, yet they see so much hope in it. They only purely see the beauty, and they only see everyone as they are and can be.
Everybody softens their hearts toward these people. They're innocent, and flawless. How could one not ?
Anyway. I haven't really known what to put in this for awhile. Where to gather my thoughts to even start.
I feel like a completely different person from who I was abouttt. 2 weeks ago ahaha. Doesn't that sound lame ??!
But I've been given so much strength, that has helped me to solely rely on the Lord, and prayer. Not only my own prayers, but the prayers of others. I should be praying like I have been every single time I pray. It's too important not to!
Ryan's doing so well up at the MTC. I'm so proud of him! Every day he is gone I become a little bit stronger. I've learned how to not rely on anything on this earth, as any of it can be gone in a heartbeat. Ryan pushing himself is pushing me. Not only have I realized I can become sooo much more than I am right now, or was even aiming to be before, but I've noticed that as people, we seem to settle a LOT ! When the things that we have to work for become SO MUCH more worthwhile in the end. It's crazy really.
I'm logging off. I thank anyone who has thought to read this, and even put so much of a care into what is going on in my life. :p
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
April 27th, 2010
This is quite possibly
the hardest I've cried. in SO long.
Of course I know everything will be okay, but saying goodbye was so hard.
the hardest I've cried. in SO long.
Of course I know everything will be okay, but saying goodbye was so hard.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
never in my life
never would have thought I would be right here
being treated how I believe every girl in this world deserves to be treated
I never would have thought I would be so emotional,
and at THAT, be able to have so many emotions going through me at once. My mind is blank, yet so much has gone through it today, I couldn't tell you one thing I was supposed to learn at school today.
What keeps grounding me when I start to feel like a failure in school, though, is the fact that
"we're all gonna die eventually anyway"
hahah
school will work itself out. life will work itself out.
Even though money may be wasted.. energy may be wasted. Life will keep going. And having that knowledge is truly what seems to be so important right now.
I have finally started to understand how little it matters what people think of you.
How, as long as you are trying your hardest to be your best self, no other thought, or word, or persecution can alter you.
You tried your best. You're giving as much as you can.
As long as I'm trying my best, and doing the best I can, every outside thought about me can never alter the inside.
This is going to be such a hard week. A great week, but a hard one.
I never. EVER. would have thought I would have been hit like this.
being treated how I believe every girl in this world deserves to be treated
I never would have thought I would be so emotional,
and at THAT, be able to have so many emotions going through me at once. My mind is blank, yet so much has gone through it today, I couldn't tell you one thing I was supposed to learn at school today.
What keeps grounding me when I start to feel like a failure in school, though, is the fact that
"we're all gonna die eventually anyway"
hahah
school will work itself out. life will work itself out.
Even though money may be wasted.. energy may be wasted. Life will keep going. And having that knowledge is truly what seems to be so important right now.
I have finally started to understand how little it matters what people think of you.
How, as long as you are trying your hardest to be your best self, no other thought, or word, or persecution can alter you.
You tried your best. You're giving as much as you can.
As long as I'm trying my best, and doing the best I can, every outside thought about me can never alter the inside.
This is going to be such a hard week. A great week, but a hard one.
I never. EVER. would have thought I would have been hit like this.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
do it all again
WHAT.A.WEEK.
It seemed to just be going by, then before I know it, it's Saturday !
I find that the more I interact with people, the more chances I get to try and be a good example-and the more chances I get to try and be a good example, the more I can better myself.
wow what a concept lia. o.o.
It's so insane how much there is to learn about yourself every single day.
I didn't think there was so much to me, or to simply humans hahh
but every single person has their ability to mold into the exact person they see themselves being comfortable with
whether it be physically, or mentally/emotionally.
Crazy!
I'm sitting here and my mind just went completely blank. hahhhah I feel like such an airhead right now
:/
I just love the way life can go if you do the things that need to be done.
Or just rely on the Lord to guide you to do what you need to.
Yesterday I got my very first cavities filled, and me being the calm and under controlled person I am, I saw the 2-inch needle for my shot and was all, 'WHOOOAAAAAAA what is THATT!!?' hah
smooth.
instead of relying on God, I took that second to freak out. even though i should 'fear God, not man'
but it's lessons like those that kind of help steer me BACK into the right direction, to know what I should be doing, and who I should be trusting in.
I shouldn't even be planning anything. It hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past really. Because if I plan on something that isn't my will, what if it steers me into an entirely different life that is not nearlyy as good as the life I could be living by God's plan ?
ya digg !
I don't try to get all churchy on every blog..and I really did not think I would this time.
But it's all that matters to me now. At least if I'm one-dimensional, I'm one-dimensional with a purpose. hah
It seemed to just be going by, then before I know it, it's Saturday !
I find that the more I interact with people, the more chances I get to try and be a good example-and the more chances I get to try and be a good example, the more I can better myself.
wow what a concept lia. o.o.
It's so insane how much there is to learn about yourself every single day.
I didn't think there was so much to me, or to simply humans hahh
but every single person has their ability to mold into the exact person they see themselves being comfortable with
whether it be physically, or mentally/emotionally.
Crazy!
I'm sitting here and my mind just went completely blank. hahhhah I feel like such an airhead right now
:/
I just love the way life can go if you do the things that need to be done.
Or just rely on the Lord to guide you to do what you need to.
Yesterday I got my very first cavities filled, and me being the calm and under controlled person I am, I saw the 2-inch needle for my shot and was all, 'WHOOOAAAAAAA what is THATT!!?' hah
smooth.
instead of relying on God, I took that second to freak out. even though i should 'fear God, not man'
but it's lessons like those that kind of help steer me BACK into the right direction, to know what I should be doing, and who I should be trusting in.
I shouldn't even be planning anything. It hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past really. Because if I plan on something that isn't my will, what if it steers me into an entirely different life that is not nearlyy as good as the life I could be living by God's plan ?
ya digg !
I don't try to get all churchy on every blog..and I really did not think I would this time.
But it's all that matters to me now. At least if I'm one-dimensional, I'm one-dimensional with a purpose. hah
Sunday, April 4, 2010
General Conference 2010
If you don't know what it is, go to beta.lds.org, and you can look up all of the talks by the presidency.
The have given talks on finding true happiness, not judging others, overcoming trials, life after death, and SO MANY MORE that will allllways, always, ALWAYS be able to lead me in the right direction
this year has just left me at
a loss for words, at how this gospel really works. how important it is in every single thing I do and say, and how I look at every trial that comes my way.
"Never let an earthly circumstance deliver you spiritually."
"With hope, order can emerge out of chaos."
What simple things people can say, yet at the time and situations you are going through in life mean so much!
It has broughten me to tears, how good my Heavenly Father has been to me, when I make mistakes every single day.
I don't mean to be.. Book of Mormon-thumping ? or whatever they call it.
I'm gonna be okay. I have not been given anything I cannot handle, nor has anyone.
And even though 'times is gettin tougher', we've been put in this life AT THIS TIME for a VERY.important reason. I know I'm not the brightest, but this much I do know.
No matter what, "Our 'duty' is to use all of our power for good, as has been done for us."
The have given talks on finding true happiness, not judging others, overcoming trials, life after death, and SO MANY MORE that will allllways, always, ALWAYS be able to lead me in the right direction
this year has just left me at
a loss for words, at how this gospel really works. how important it is in every single thing I do and say, and how I look at every trial that comes my way.
"Never let an earthly circumstance deliver you spiritually."
"With hope, order can emerge out of chaos."
What simple things people can say, yet at the time and situations you are going through in life mean so much!
It has broughten me to tears, how good my Heavenly Father has been to me, when I make mistakes every single day.
I don't mean to be.. Book of Mormon-thumping ? or whatever they call it.
I'm gonna be okay. I have not been given anything I cannot handle, nor has anyone.
And even though 'times is gettin tougher', we've been put in this life AT THIS TIME for a VERY.important reason. I know I'm not the brightest, but this much I do know.
No matter what, "Our 'duty' is to use all of our power for good, as has been done for us."
Friday, March 19, 2010
funny thing
how different people act in 'the world' today
it's so sad. Not being able to find yourself, or just be yourself for whatever reason that goes beyond 'being accepted'.
For the longest time, I didn't know how to just 'be myself'
it's not that I was afraid of not being accepted-it was more of just not knowing in any way at all who I was, so how can I be someone I don't know how to be?
you know ?
I finallyyy think I'm getting to figure out who I am.. not really the type of person I am, because I don't really think there are 'types'. But I think I'm getting a jyst..(jyst ?) of who I am. Not that I could find a way to really describe it.
I don't think it matters really who I am, as long as I make the people around me feel good.
Took Gina to the hospital this morning, cuz she was crying HYSTERICALLY. because of what turned out to be a kidney stone. So we're on our way there, and she can't sit still and is wailing and crying and breathing so hard.
And I felt so helpless. but not only helpless, I felt like I looked careless, just sitting there driving. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, but it was still a horrible feeling. sitting there not doing ANYthing.
I think I know now why people get more emotional the older they get, because they've been through more. And it's a LOT easier to feel for people when you've been in the same situation.
My journal said this a lot better though.
So! Since I get all churchy in just about every blog
2 Nephi 2:22-23-
"And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden.
...They would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing good, for they knew no sin."
If we were never given trials to go through, how would we know what it feels like to be happy?
it's so sad. Not being able to find yourself, or just be yourself for whatever reason that goes beyond 'being accepted'.
For the longest time, I didn't know how to just 'be myself'
it's not that I was afraid of not being accepted-it was more of just not knowing in any way at all who I was, so how can I be someone I don't know how to be?
you know ?
I finallyyy think I'm getting to figure out who I am.. not really the type of person I am, because I don't really think there are 'types'. But I think I'm getting a jyst..(jyst ?) of who I am. Not that I could find a way to really describe it.
I don't think it matters really who I am, as long as I make the people around me feel good.
Took Gina to the hospital this morning, cuz she was crying HYSTERICALLY. because of what turned out to be a kidney stone. So we're on our way there, and she can't sit still and is wailing and crying and breathing so hard.
And I felt so helpless. but not only helpless, I felt like I looked careless, just sitting there driving. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, but it was still a horrible feeling. sitting there not doing ANYthing.
I think I know now why people get more emotional the older they get, because they've been through more. And it's a LOT easier to feel for people when you've been in the same situation.
My journal said this a lot better though.
So! Since I get all churchy in just about every blog
2 Nephi 2:22-23-
"And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden.
...They would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing good, for they knew no sin."
If we were never given trials to go through, how would we know what it feels like to be happy?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Light
My mind has never been more blank, with more to say
whether I don't think anyone wants to hear it, or I just don't know where to start, I don't know.
I really don't.
I went out last night!
Gina and I went to my friend from church's St. Patrick's Day party, and a lottt of people from church were there.
And I realized how good of a time I have with them. How I have found a place with peope who don't really care where I've been and just want to see me do well.
and to BE well. It humbles me to know how good I have it, because God is so good.
I'm extreeemely proud of my sister. To see how far she's come, and how grounded she's kept ME through all of this. She really has no idea.
So. I'm doing okay now. I hope whoever might be reading this is too.
:)
whether I don't think anyone wants to hear it, or I just don't know where to start, I don't know.
I really don't.
I went out last night!
Gina and I went to my friend from church's St. Patrick's Day party, and a lottt of people from church were there.
And I realized how good of a time I have with them. How I have found a place with peope who don't really care where I've been and just want to see me do well.
and to BE well. It humbles me to know how good I have it, because God is so good.
I'm extreeemely proud of my sister. To see how far she's come, and how grounded she's kept ME through all of this. She really has no idea.
So. I'm doing okay now. I hope whoever might be reading this is too.
:)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
the other side of heaven
today is a day I have been waiting for, when I finally feel like me again.
"me". again. hahha
I'm not being selfish anymore, focusing on my own problems. In these past couple weeks, I've kind of lost myself in all "the madness", trying to figure out where exactly my place is in all that's been happening, while still trying to take care of myself.
But even though I've been trying my hardest to keep my sensitivity towards others, I haven't been caring for them as much as I usually do. And it's really sad, because I've felt it. I've felt myself being less caring, and it's horrible to say that I ignored it. I ignored the opportunity to try and do what Jesus would do.
Some people say it's easier to just not care, but how could it be easier to be stuck with the guilt of knowing you could have been the one to make someone smile, or make somebody's day, which could truly change their life !!
I'm okay now. It's true, the month of February always just SUCKS. I wanted to wait til tomorrow to b-log, but I figured I could at least end this crappy month with a BANG
hhaha
I've been lucky enough to find some reallllyy great people in my life, who have come and 'lifted' me, I guess, at just the right time. Being in my comfort zone will get.me.NOwhere.
There are people that care for me, and want to see me happy, as I do them.
There IS a plan, and I know God has put these people in my path to not only help keep me happy, but safe and true to myself.
There is nothing better than being your best self-not only FOR yourself, but for God who did not waste useless talents and strengths on you.
:)
"me". again. hahha
I'm not being selfish anymore, focusing on my own problems. In these past couple weeks, I've kind of lost myself in all "the madness", trying to figure out where exactly my place is in all that's been happening, while still trying to take care of myself.
But even though I've been trying my hardest to keep my sensitivity towards others, I haven't been caring for them as much as I usually do. And it's really sad, because I've felt it. I've felt myself being less caring, and it's horrible to say that I ignored it. I ignored the opportunity to try and do what Jesus would do.
Some people say it's easier to just not care, but how could it be easier to be stuck with the guilt of knowing you could have been the one to make someone smile, or make somebody's day, which could truly change their life !!
I'm okay now. It's true, the month of February always just SUCKS. I wanted to wait til tomorrow to b-log, but I figured I could at least end this crappy month with a BANG
hhaha
I've been lucky enough to find some reallllyy great people in my life, who have come and 'lifted' me, I guess, at just the right time. Being in my comfort zone will get.me.NOwhere.
There are people that care for me, and want to see me happy, as I do them.
There IS a plan, and I know God has put these people in my path to not only help keep me happy, but safe and true to myself.
There is nothing better than being your best self-not only FOR yourself, but for God who did not waste useless talents and strengths on you.
:)
Friday, February 19, 2010
bright
I tried not to let it get to this point hahh.
tomorrow will be one week since my grandpa died, and monday will be a week since my grnadma died.
I didn't realize until this happened that I have never gone through someone close to me dying. There have been people I've known who have died, but they weren't really close enough to me to effect the way I wake up every morning now.
Funny how I wasn't necessarily the closest to my grandparents.. no reason really, I was just 'busy'.
Being busy always takes up what is more important. I had to punk out on cooking with grandma one night because I had to work.
becauseihadtowork. that poor thing just wanted to spend time with me, and I know I still would've been able to survive if I hadn't worked that night.
I painted Grandma's nails for her before she died on Valentine's Day, so when I heard she was gone I painted my toes the same color hah.
The church has been soooo so good to us. Our phone has been ringing off.the.HOOK, and last night a lady from church brought us a cake hah :)
So many people have been praying for us, and I reallyy truly AM grateful, and have felt how it has kept me strong
but I still just cry. and cry, and cry. on my way to work, and at night, and whenever I try not to think about it.
I know that with a trial comes a blessing, so I'm hanging on to that
and to faith, of course
tomorrow will be one week since my grandpa died, and monday will be a week since my grnadma died.
I didn't realize until this happened that I have never gone through someone close to me dying. There have been people I've known who have died, but they weren't really close enough to me to effect the way I wake up every morning now.
Funny how I wasn't necessarily the closest to my grandparents.. no reason really, I was just 'busy'.
Being busy always takes up what is more important. I had to punk out on cooking with grandma one night because I had to work.
becauseihadtowork. that poor thing just wanted to spend time with me, and I know I still would've been able to survive if I hadn't worked that night.
I painted Grandma's nails for her before she died on Valentine's Day, so when I heard she was gone I painted my toes the same color hah.
The church has been soooo so good to us. Our phone has been ringing off.the.HOOK, and last night a lady from church brought us a cake hah :)
So many people have been praying for us, and I reallyy truly AM grateful, and have felt how it has kept me strong
but I still just cry. and cry, and cry. on my way to work, and at night, and whenever I try not to think about it.
I know that with a trial comes a blessing, so I'm hanging on to that
and to faith, of course
Thursday, February 11, 2010
my mind is blank when it comes to putting a title for this one
but blogs aren't about titles, are they ? ..o.O
I have found myself at an alltime low today for some reason.
or just this week. i think my grandparents' cancers have just taken an ENORMOUS chunk out of all of us, and now I'm not functioning" the same I guess.
I don't want to sound like a complainer
but my knee is hurting
and I've been trying to work on having better posture and my back is KILLING. me. and it scares me, because I know it's not just from working on my posture
I know that it will eventually get worse and I will mooostt likely have to have surgery on it, but it scares me to think it may be sooner rather than later. a 20 year old getting back surgery really ??!
I can't work out that much lately cuz of the achy's hah..and I feel lower and LOWER every day that I don't. I feel sick. which IS sick, because I shouldn't feel like that.
how sad.
I try not to let myself get to this point
..
I don't really have anybody to tell this to, and besides God, I don't really know anybody who would necessarily 'understand'.. at least noone I can think of that would.
of course life could be worse. of course everyone has issues. I'm not trying to be selfish in any way. I'm not trying to put the focus on me, or to make anyone feel sorry for me.
I just don't really feel like anybody can make me feel 'good' again. but I don't even know what 'good' would be to me.
o.o
but blogs aren't about titles, are they ? ..o.O
I have found myself at an alltime low today for some reason.
or just this week. i think my grandparents' cancers have just taken an ENORMOUS chunk out of all of us, and now I'm not functioning" the same I guess.
I don't want to sound like a complainer
but my knee is hurting
and I've been trying to work on having better posture and my back is KILLING. me. and it scares me, because I know it's not just from working on my posture
I know that it will eventually get worse and I will mooostt likely have to have surgery on it, but it scares me to think it may be sooner rather than later. a 20 year old getting back surgery really ??!
I can't work out that much lately cuz of the achy's hah..and I feel lower and LOWER every day that I don't. I feel sick. which IS sick, because I shouldn't feel like that.
how sad.
I try not to let myself get to this point
..
I don't really have anybody to tell this to, and besides God, I don't really know anybody who would necessarily 'understand'.. at least noone I can think of that would.
of course life could be worse. of course everyone has issues. I'm not trying to be selfish in any way. I'm not trying to put the focus on me, or to make anyone feel sorry for me.
I just don't really feel like anybody can make me feel 'good' again. but I don't even know what 'good' would be to me.
o.o
Thursday, February 4, 2010
hollyhoood!
went to l.a. to watch the show STOMP!
I had gone when I was younger, liiike. 5 years ago at leastt.. and didn't appreciate it NEARLY as much as when I went this time
it was one of the most amazing shows I think I will ever see in my life.
Being there, and just to l.a. in general makes me feel like I'm S0CLOSE to my dream
it makes me never wanna go home
I had gone when I was younger, liiike. 5 years ago at leastt.. and didn't appreciate it NEARLY as much as when I went this time
it was one of the most amazing shows I think I will ever see in my life.
Being there, and just to l.a. in general makes me feel like I'm S0CLOSE to my dream
it makes me never wanna go home
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hey now..
In the matter of 20 years being a VERY. dramatic person
and in the matter of 1 week, everything has seemed to fall apart and together at the same time.
Of course, not everything has fallen apart. But when I go through a trial, I tend to put all of my attention and energy on what I'm going through, rather than putting my energy on what I am still blessed with.
"In trials, never blame God, and never ask 'why'. Having faith gives you the knowledge that everything will be alright. 'I know what I know, and that can't be taken from me through ANY trial.' There is only one who can turn anger into complete gratitude when His plan is understood."
and in the matter of 1 week, everything has seemed to fall apart and together at the same time.
Of course, not everything has fallen apart. But when I go through a trial, I tend to put all of my attention and energy on what I'm going through, rather than putting my energy on what I am still blessed with.
"In trials, never blame God, and never ask 'why'. Having faith gives you the knowledge that everything will be alright. 'I know what I know, and that can't be taken from me through ANY trial.' There is only one who can turn anger into complete gratitude when His plan is understood."
Monday, January 4, 2010
Far, Far
I haven't been on this in awhile
wel it's been awhile to Me hah.. I feel more alive not relying on something to give me something to do like this
or Myspace. I really don't feel much different after deleting it to be completely honest. It just forces me to do SOMEthing, rather than sit in front of the computer. I go outside a LOT more, which I like doing more anyway
I went to San Diego on Saturday. It was BEAUTIFUL down there.
It's kind of funny being content in this city, and then going out and realizing how much more there is, like I always wanted to.
The sun down there was so bright and the air seemed S0 much clearer than ours..
there was so much to do, and so much LIFE
but I think I'm just one of those people that would get tired of all that 'life' constantly.
I like the quiet out here, without all the forest or w/e is usually tied into quiet towns. haha
I'm learning to become more content with myself also..
mostly because I keep praying, and praying, and PRAYING for it
it'll happen, I know it will eventually. it has to.
ahhhhhhhhheodhaledfhcqwoexn239934nc903n !!!
wel it's been awhile to Me hah.. I feel more alive not relying on something to give me something to do like this
or Myspace. I really don't feel much different after deleting it to be completely honest. It just forces me to do SOMEthing, rather than sit in front of the computer. I go outside a LOT more, which I like doing more anyway
I went to San Diego on Saturday. It was BEAUTIFUL down there.
It's kind of funny being content in this city, and then going out and realizing how much more there is, like I always wanted to.
The sun down there was so bright and the air seemed S0 much clearer than ours..
there was so much to do, and so much LIFE
but I think I'm just one of those people that would get tired of all that 'life' constantly.
I like the quiet out here, without all the forest or w/e is usually tied into quiet towns. haha
I'm learning to become more content with myself also..
mostly because I keep praying, and praying, and PRAYING for it
it'll happen, I know it will eventually. it has to.
ahhhhhhhhheodhaledfhcqwoexn239934nc903n !!!
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