what's happened since MAY haha..
my mission papers went in
I got the call back
turns out I'm serving in the New Mexico Albuquerque mission to speak Spanish
..
my DREAMMM language to speak
..
hm. that'sss about it!
I knew Satan would be working HARD on me, to try and get me to not go on a mission to try and bring others unto Christ..
but dang.
talk about all the crap hitting the fan.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
the M
Today was incredible.. truly incredible. And it's only 10 a.m. haha
This morning, me and some people from church hiked up to the M. It was one of those times that just effortlessly went SO well. I have been praying and praying for who knows HOW long for some friends, as pathetic as that sounds. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people in my life now. But I realized today exactly how little appearance matters in this world. Everyone I was with this morning just has this love for the gospel that outshines any outward appearance, to the point where I don't even notice what anyone looks like anymore. They are just all so beautiful.
I felt safe, knowing that the Lord has brought these people into my path to lift me through this tough point in my life. To help chip off my rough edges and become better, because I can only see myself becoming better when I'm around other people that want me to do better.
I don't really know how to put all of this into words. But this is just what I needed. Every worry is gone, every weakness seems to be put on hold when there are people around to strengthen you. And that doesn't make you a weak person; it makes you humble.
So this quote, from Boyd K. Packer:
"I went before the Lord and in essence said, I'm not neutral and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I will give it to you-everything, all I own, all I am."
This morning, me and some people from church hiked up to the M. It was one of those times that just effortlessly went SO well. I have been praying and praying for who knows HOW long for some friends, as pathetic as that sounds. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people in my life now. But I realized today exactly how little appearance matters in this world. Everyone I was with this morning just has this love for the gospel that outshines any outward appearance, to the point where I don't even notice what anyone looks like anymore. They are just all so beautiful.
I felt safe, knowing that the Lord has brought these people into my path to lift me through this tough point in my life. To help chip off my rough edges and become better, because I can only see myself becoming better when I'm around other people that want me to do better.
I don't really know how to put all of this into words. But this is just what I needed. Every worry is gone, every weakness seems to be put on hold when there are people around to strengthen you. And that doesn't make you a weak person; it makes you humble.
So this quote, from Boyd K. Packer:
"I went before the Lord and in essence said, I'm not neutral and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I will give it to you-everything, all I own, all I am."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Scattered
I tried to describe earlier exactly how I feel, and that is just it.
Scattered. Not lost, because I know that under the Lord and this church, I am allllways found.
It's just a weird feeling, that I haven't really felt before. Not that I've ever been the best to be able to put my thoughts into words.
I miss Ryan.
Scattered. Not lost, because I know that under the Lord and this church, I am allllways found.
It's just a weird feeling, that I haven't really felt before. Not that I've ever been the best to be able to put my thoughts into words.
I miss Ryan.
Monday, May 10, 2010
perfect
would be the Special Ed. kids that crossed the crosswalk together while I was driving this morning
that kept looking back and waving, and smiling at me.
But not only smiling, it was more that they were overjoyed to see me, when they didn't even know me! Like they were overjoyed to see another one of their sisters, ....
Perfect is the fact that this world is horrible, yet they see so much hope in it. They only purely see the beauty, and they only see everyone as they are and can be.
Everybody softens their hearts toward these people. They're innocent, and flawless. How could one not ?
Anyway. I haven't really known what to put in this for awhile. Where to gather my thoughts to even start.
I feel like a completely different person from who I was abouttt. 2 weeks ago ahaha. Doesn't that sound lame ??!
But I've been given so much strength, that has helped me to solely rely on the Lord, and prayer. Not only my own prayers, but the prayers of others. I should be praying like I have been every single time I pray. It's too important not to!
Ryan's doing so well up at the MTC. I'm so proud of him! Every day he is gone I become a little bit stronger. I've learned how to not rely on anything on this earth, as any of it can be gone in a heartbeat. Ryan pushing himself is pushing me. Not only have I realized I can become sooo much more than I am right now, or was even aiming to be before, but I've noticed that as people, we seem to settle a LOT ! When the things that we have to work for become SO MUCH more worthwhile in the end. It's crazy really.
I'm logging off. I thank anyone who has thought to read this, and even put so much of a care into what is going on in my life. :p
that kept looking back and waving, and smiling at me.
But not only smiling, it was more that they were overjoyed to see me, when they didn't even know me! Like they were overjoyed to see another one of their sisters, ....
Perfect is the fact that this world is horrible, yet they see so much hope in it. They only purely see the beauty, and they only see everyone as they are and can be.
Everybody softens their hearts toward these people. They're innocent, and flawless. How could one not ?
Anyway. I haven't really known what to put in this for awhile. Where to gather my thoughts to even start.
I feel like a completely different person from who I was abouttt. 2 weeks ago ahaha. Doesn't that sound lame ??!
But I've been given so much strength, that has helped me to solely rely on the Lord, and prayer. Not only my own prayers, but the prayers of others. I should be praying like I have been every single time I pray. It's too important not to!
Ryan's doing so well up at the MTC. I'm so proud of him! Every day he is gone I become a little bit stronger. I've learned how to not rely on anything on this earth, as any of it can be gone in a heartbeat. Ryan pushing himself is pushing me. Not only have I realized I can become sooo much more than I am right now, or was even aiming to be before, but I've noticed that as people, we seem to settle a LOT ! When the things that we have to work for become SO MUCH more worthwhile in the end. It's crazy really.
I'm logging off. I thank anyone who has thought to read this, and even put so much of a care into what is going on in my life. :p
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
April 27th, 2010
This is quite possibly
the hardest I've cried. in SO long.
Of course I know everything will be okay, but saying goodbye was so hard.
the hardest I've cried. in SO long.
Of course I know everything will be okay, but saying goodbye was so hard.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
never in my life
never would have thought I would be right here
being treated how I believe every girl in this world deserves to be treated
I never would have thought I would be so emotional,
and at THAT, be able to have so many emotions going through me at once. My mind is blank, yet so much has gone through it today, I couldn't tell you one thing I was supposed to learn at school today.
What keeps grounding me when I start to feel like a failure in school, though, is the fact that
"we're all gonna die eventually anyway"
hahah
school will work itself out. life will work itself out.
Even though money may be wasted.. energy may be wasted. Life will keep going. And having that knowledge is truly what seems to be so important right now.
I have finally started to understand how little it matters what people think of you.
How, as long as you are trying your hardest to be your best self, no other thought, or word, or persecution can alter you.
You tried your best. You're giving as much as you can.
As long as I'm trying my best, and doing the best I can, every outside thought about me can never alter the inside.
This is going to be such a hard week. A great week, but a hard one.
I never. EVER. would have thought I would have been hit like this.
being treated how I believe every girl in this world deserves to be treated
I never would have thought I would be so emotional,
and at THAT, be able to have so many emotions going through me at once. My mind is blank, yet so much has gone through it today, I couldn't tell you one thing I was supposed to learn at school today.
What keeps grounding me when I start to feel like a failure in school, though, is the fact that
"we're all gonna die eventually anyway"
hahah
school will work itself out. life will work itself out.
Even though money may be wasted.. energy may be wasted. Life will keep going. And having that knowledge is truly what seems to be so important right now.
I have finally started to understand how little it matters what people think of you.
How, as long as you are trying your hardest to be your best self, no other thought, or word, or persecution can alter you.
You tried your best. You're giving as much as you can.
As long as I'm trying my best, and doing the best I can, every outside thought about me can never alter the inside.
This is going to be such a hard week. A great week, but a hard one.
I never. EVER. would have thought I would have been hit like this.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
do it all again
WHAT.A.WEEK.
It seemed to just be going by, then before I know it, it's Saturday !
I find that the more I interact with people, the more chances I get to try and be a good example-and the more chances I get to try and be a good example, the more I can better myself.
wow what a concept lia. o.o.
It's so insane how much there is to learn about yourself every single day.
I didn't think there was so much to me, or to simply humans hahh
but every single person has their ability to mold into the exact person they see themselves being comfortable with
whether it be physically, or mentally/emotionally.
Crazy!
I'm sitting here and my mind just went completely blank. hahhhah I feel like such an airhead right now
:/
I just love the way life can go if you do the things that need to be done.
Or just rely on the Lord to guide you to do what you need to.
Yesterday I got my very first cavities filled, and me being the calm and under controlled person I am, I saw the 2-inch needle for my shot and was all, 'WHOOOAAAAAAA what is THATT!!?' hah
smooth.
instead of relying on God, I took that second to freak out. even though i should 'fear God, not man'
but it's lessons like those that kind of help steer me BACK into the right direction, to know what I should be doing, and who I should be trusting in.
I shouldn't even be planning anything. It hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past really. Because if I plan on something that isn't my will, what if it steers me into an entirely different life that is not nearlyy as good as the life I could be living by God's plan ?
ya digg !
I don't try to get all churchy on every blog..and I really did not think I would this time.
But it's all that matters to me now. At least if I'm one-dimensional, I'm one-dimensional with a purpose. hah
It seemed to just be going by, then before I know it, it's Saturday !
I find that the more I interact with people, the more chances I get to try and be a good example-and the more chances I get to try and be a good example, the more I can better myself.
wow what a concept lia. o.o.
It's so insane how much there is to learn about yourself every single day.
I didn't think there was so much to me, or to simply humans hahh
but every single person has their ability to mold into the exact person they see themselves being comfortable with
whether it be physically, or mentally/emotionally.
Crazy!
I'm sitting here and my mind just went completely blank. hahhhah I feel like such an airhead right now
:/
I just love the way life can go if you do the things that need to be done.
Or just rely on the Lord to guide you to do what you need to.
Yesterday I got my very first cavities filled, and me being the calm and under controlled person I am, I saw the 2-inch needle for my shot and was all, 'WHOOOAAAAAAA what is THATT!!?' hah
smooth.
instead of relying on God, I took that second to freak out. even though i should 'fear God, not man'
but it's lessons like those that kind of help steer me BACK into the right direction, to know what I should be doing, and who I should be trusting in.
I shouldn't even be planning anything. It hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past really. Because if I plan on something that isn't my will, what if it steers me into an entirely different life that is not nearlyy as good as the life I could be living by God's plan ?
ya digg !
I don't try to get all churchy on every blog..and I really did not think I would this time.
But it's all that matters to me now. At least if I'm one-dimensional, I'm one-dimensional with a purpose. hah
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