funny thing

how different people act in 'the world' today
it's so sad. Not being able to find yourself, or just be yourself for whatever reason that goes beyond 'being accepted'.
For the longest time, I didn't know how to just 'be myself'
it's not that I was afraid of not being accepted-it was more of just not knowing in any way at all who I was, so how can I be someone I don't know how to be?
you know ?

I finallyyy think I'm getting to figure out who I am.. not really the type of person I am, because I don't really think there are 'types'. But I think I'm getting a jyst..(jyst ?) of who I am. Not that I could find a way to really describe it.
I don't think it matters really who I am, as long as I make the people around me feel good.

Took Gina to the hospital this morning, cuz she was crying HYSTERICALLY. because of what turned out to be a kidney stone. So we're on our way there, and she can't sit still and is wailing and crying and breathing so hard.
And I felt so helpless. but not only helpless, I felt like I looked careless, just sitting there driving. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, but it was still a horrible feeling. sitting there not doing ANYthing.
I think I know now why people get more emotional the older they get, because they've been through more. And it's a LOT easier to feel for people when you've been in the same situation.
My journal said this a lot better though.

So! Since I get all churchy in just about every blog

2 Nephi 2:22-23-
"And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden.
...They would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing good, for they knew no sin."

If we were never given trials to go through, how would we know what it feels like to be happy?

The Light

My mind has never been more blank, with more to say

whether I don't think anyone wants to hear it, or I just don't know where to start, I don't know.
I really don't.

I went out last night!
Gina and I went to my friend from church's St. Patrick's Day party, and a lottt of people from church were there.
And I realized how good of a time I have with them. How I have found a place with peope who don't really care where I've been and just want to see me do well.
and to BE well. It humbles me to know how good I have it, because God is so good.
I'm extreeemely proud of my sister. To see how far she's come, and how grounded she's kept ME through all of this. She really has no idea.

So. I'm doing okay now. I hope whoever might be reading this is too.

:)