saturday night

and im b-logging
i don't think i could get ANY . LAMER
than this.

i had plans tonight
:0

and i got DITCHED !!
:/
so here i am lookin all cute.. with that typical NOT going out face that looks kiind of like >:/.. but really means >:O hahahh
its okay though, i'm really not in the mood to go out

allll day today, and after this crappy week, i've felt like sumthings missing
i don't feel like 'me'.
and not only that, i can't go out anywhere and act myself because i can only cover up so much for so long.. and after awhile i just start to feel

duisrvwneriuvoecpwmw;co whenever i go somewhere
and i don't act how i usually would

i haven't had an appetite today
i ate a bowl of cereal and an apple and thats it
and that is DEFINITELY.not me hhah

the thing is, i donot. even know what's wrong
of course we're not supposed to dwell on anything from the past, but if fall this year were like fall last year i'd be okay
i'm just saying! hahah

the only thing i guess i can do is pray and try and listen to what i need to do
or look for a sign, because i don't know what it is i'm supposed to do.

i'm helpless when it comes to myself
,
like if i was riding a bike in the forest and both my tires(/wheels ?) went flat and my cell phone went dead
what do you do except pray. ahah

sooo im gonna keep pushing
and just do the right thing, hoping i'll feel whole again

yearss and YEARS ago, i'd go outside and sit on the curb
or lay down in the middle of the street in our neighborhood
and just look at nothing, for hours sometimes.. maybe that'll help o.O